Every so often it is time for a reset. At this moment I feel the need to do some deep work on myself. A few years ago I took a six month break from alcohol and socializing. I maxed out on yoga, meditation and healthy eating. I felt so good but over time that feeling has eroded. Now I am back on it.

I don’t know why, but I reached a point where it was time to let go of things I had been carrying for a long time. More specifically, overcoming attachment avoidance behaviors. I have been digging deep into the shame, fear, and loneliness on which this is built.

It feels like a new beginning. There are a plethora of micro changes. These include making diet – more seeds, fruit and vegetables, less meat and hard cheese while boosting my protein intake. I now include weights in my training regime and practice daily meditation. To symbolize this change, I wear a Ganesha pendant!!! I am also getting some professional help to work through things.

Since I started there have been a few unusual (for me) encounters or connections. There was the Italian luxury shoe salesman who convinced me to buy some very expensive shoes on the street. Then, the guy who opened up in deepest detail about his fabulous sex life with his dismissive avoidant ex-partner in the middle of the gym changing room. Lots of other randoms – life is an adventure.

I am feeling lighter and more alive. I notice my emotional ups and downs more. I have more internal space to handle difficult emotions. I notice that I enjoy preparing and eating more. I am taking pleasure in simple things and putting effort into making day to day life pleasurable. My wife and kids are noticing, I feel they like it but wonder if it will last.

I feel changes in my life coming, a release that is allowing a better part of me to emerge. The hardest thing is trusting. Trying not to plan ahead to regulate and the impact of the future – but just letting go and allow it to flow.

I will let you know what happens……….