Credit to Julie Menanno’s podcast on Secure Love (https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-secure-love-podcast-with-julie-menanno/id1753342452) following a couple working hard to grow together through counseling. I recognize the avoidant attachment mechanism. Despite best intentions, things go wrong. The fear of emotions spiraling out of control leads to emotional lock down. 

How to overcome this? One challenge is to “deshame” feelings about the past to better manage one’s emotions. It’s an unsettling process. Meditating on “shame” allows moments and memories to surface. A lot came up and I was left shaken, feeling spun through an emotional washing machine. 

The meditative moments were short and quick – no time to dwell before moving back to your breathing. You release emotion without regulation. A bit like letting steam out of a covered pan, releasing the pressure before the water can boil over.